Recovering From Heartbreak

Recovering From Heartbreak

Are you heartbroken because of him? Take heart! You can take some steps to come through a breakup much happier and wiser. Undoubtedly, it's never easy to get over a broken heart. Recent research actually suggests romantic rejection can be one of the most physically painful experiences that a woman can go through. Some experience various symptoms like inflammation, anger, fear, and other negative emotions. Fortunately, you can get over these nasty episodes,somehow. First, take courage and face the situation one on one. Do not run away from your problems. Relationship experts say these are the first steps on the road to recovery. You can enrich your life and emerge happier and stronger from these unwanted waves of grief.

Consider other things you can do to ease the pain. Try to follow these therapeutic suggestions in the order of listing. As noted, you first need to embrace the initial heartache and accept the situation. Make sure you deal with any negative thoughts. Recognize and acknowledge that you may be depressed and grieving. Try to find some creative outlets to vent off the troubles. Get absorbed in whatever hobbies you really enjoy. Listen to some soothing music. Acknowledge that you're dealing with anger. Always feel free to accept that you cannot keep in touch with him the way you used to do. Try to refocus on other positive relationships. Take care of yourself in a focused new way. If possible, try to seek some help from a qualified therapist. And be sure you can look back to the hurtful episode without feeling bitter. As noted, always open up your heart to the possibility of new love.

Anita Gadhia-Smith, an experienced psychotherapist who plies her trade in the District of Columbia and suburban Maryland, says: "Grief that follows the breakup of a long relationship can be among the most painful experiences any woman can endure in life. It can be excruciating, even debilitating. We don't just have to work through the pain following the loss of a recent love, and there's more. Research shows that current losses can actually trigger issues of older grief. It can reawaken stored pain and trauma resulting from past losses. It can rekindle memories of childhood abandonment, loss, and trauma." Gadhia-Smith is the author of the book How to Heal Emotional Trauma: Keys to Freedom and Self-Worth.

Experts note that there's a positive side to all this. They say it can be good to go through such despair and bouts of tears that come from broken love. Renowned relationship expert Susan Piver thinks we should actually embrace such feelings instead of running away from them. Susan authored several successful books, including Wisdom of A Broken Heart. In this work, Susan details her two-year experience while recovering from romantic heartbreak. She says the first step is to embrace the fraught emotions of heartbreak. The author notes that the victim may be tempted to take steps to forge past heartbreak. Some even try to numb the pain with a gallon of ice cream or rebound sex. Others try to swear off all future relationships. In the end, however, she warns, these tactics will not work. She says it takes lots of courage to be sad. Nevertheless, a wonderful life is not placidly happy. She notes that increased awareness comes with grieving.

Instead, the author says it's advisable to try and deal with all negative thoughts. After a breakup, you may find negative thoughts occasionally creeping in. This might cause you to contemplate what you did or what the other person did. Gadhia-Smith says: If you find yourself going through negative thoughts and these keep on bombarding your mind even you don't want it, try to find ways to change your thought patterns and disrupt the vicious cycle. She praises meditation as a fantastic way to quiet down the mind and deal with the nagging tendency to beat yourself up.

Piver offers another practical approach to deal with negative thoughts whenever they come up: Simply get up and do something else. Try to take a walk, call a person who's having some difficulties; try to think of that person instead of yourself. Simply acknowledge what you're feeling; it might be despair, fear, or hopelessness. Acknowledge these from a distance. Be careful-don't draw conclusions. Allow your mind to process the grief quickly. This will help you return to a balanced state. As earlier noted, recognize that you're grieving and depressed. There's often a skinny line separating the two. Normal disappointment can sometimes transform into depression. Deal with these.